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Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:44 am


Post by hojoos » Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:21 pm

For those who are single, dateless and stressing about it. Take a moment to consider…

…That before meeting someone, instead of worrying whether or not they’ll like you, you could wonder if you’ll like them?

…That instead of feeling the need to impress them, you could wonder if they impress you?

…That instead of sitting there silently wondering what to say next to make them like you, you could sit there silently wondering what they will say to make you like them?

…That instead of waiting around for a phone call, you could find something else to do while they wait for your call?

…That instead of worrying if you’re tall enough or good-looking enough or skinny enough, you could decide whether they’re too superficial to recognize your great qualities?

…That instead of trying to come up with the perfect date, you could decide that someone who really likes you for you doesn’t need a perfect date?

…That instead of looking for a conversation they’ll enjoy, you could talk about something you enjoy?

…That instead of feeling insecure about how good you are in bed, you could wonder on how good they are in bed?

…That instead of looking for their approval, you could decide to give yours?

…That instead of getting upset about why they don’t want to be with you, you could decide that it means you probably wouldn’t want to be with them?

This may all sound a bit selfish. But, in fact, it’s called having strong boundaries and high self-esteem. Only making time for people who make time for you. Only being interested in dating people who are interested in dating you. Worrying about what will make you happy instead of what will make someone else happy. Looking for a person who meets your needs instead of trying to always meet theirs. Changing yourself to become who you want to be, not what you think others want you to be.

Maybe you’re thinking you don’t have enough experience or that you’re not cool enough or you’re not good-looking enough to decide if someone else is good enough for you.

It’s that sort of thinking that got you here. It’s time to change your mind.

You’re the only one who gets to live your life. Take it seriously. Have standards.

People are genuinely attracted to someone they can respect, to someone they can trust. If you’re constantly looking for approval for what to say and how to feel, how could anyone respect or trust you?

The questions above are designed to change your mind—to change your mind about how you are going about dating and going about meeting new people.

Posts: 22
Joined: Sat May 18, 2019 8:54 pm


Post by doberso » Fri Jul 03, 2020 11:06 pm

in my opinion, it’s a little selfish especially if both think so.. however, it's interesting... I did it once and as a result, instead of worrying about a date, I just watched and thought how worried my partner is) and yet I like this worrying, for me it means that a person cares. By the way, what kind of app do you use for gay dating? I use this ... I think it's best

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