How to Date a Woman of Substance

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hojoos
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:44 am

How to Date a Woman of Substance

Post by hojoos » Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:04 pm

You’re 50 or 60 and you’ve met a woman your age. Eek.
She knows five things about you: You’ve got a job, degree(s) from somewhere she’s heard of, and you’re “available.” She likes your photo and/or first physical impression. And your voice doesn’t grate on her nerves.
You know this about her: She’s a thinker and a writer [substitute other profession here]. She puts a roof over her own head. Her kid(s) are basically launched.
In other words, she’s a Woman of Substance — a WoSub — and she’s available too.
You’re wondering: “How do I pull this off?”
Here are nine things to know, broken down by relationship stage, the lengths of which vary based on amount of miles on the road and passion history.
After this…Dude, you’re on your own. I can only help so much.
Stage 1 — From meeting to sleeping together regularly
Pick up the first tab — Don’t worry about setting precedent. When you’re dating a WoSub there will be plenty of time in the future for discussion, negotiation, and going Dutch. If she sees you as capable, she’ll be more than happy to pitch in, or take turns, or make you dinner from time to time.
Observe closely — Cues you pick up on your first dates (about her level of independence, her attention to detail, ideas and values that concern her) will come in super handy in future stages. Oh, and along those lines, know you’re also being watched. In a good way. She also wants to learn and respond accordingly.
Don’t over function or over promise — When a WoSub is getting to know a man, she’s looking for consistency. The world is full of men who can’t sustain the charm. Don’t be one of them. She’s been there, and seen that. Too. Many. Times.
Stage 2 — From meeting a few of her friends to exclusivity
Use your words — By now, she wants to know how you related to your mother. Why your marriage(s) ended. What matters most to you at the end of the day. If you care to keep things going, it’s time to open up. Don’t make her drag it out of you.
Offer to assist — Sure, she’s self sufficient, but who doesn’t appreciate an extra pair of hands? And if she breaks down and asks for a ride to the airport, or for your help with a heavy lift, for %^&* sake, don’t say, “I bet your son would really like to do that for you.” Just do it. With a smile. P.S. — Her kid(s) will always come first but that doesn’t count in this context.
Read the room (and read her work)— Do you feel trust developing? Have you found your rhythm as a couple, or is it still parallel play? If you’ve got questions, don’t be afraid to ask. Here’s a not-so-secret secret: Most WoSubs can’t hold back on sharing what you need to know. She wants you to succeed. Really. She does.
PS — If you subscribe to her blog, make sure it’s on your Whitelist.
Stage 3 — Finding balance and building trust
Separate but equal — If you make it to Stage 3, you’re probably in uncharted water. For both of you, sustaining a relationship will be a choice, not a mandate. While you get to know each other more fully, you’ll still need to (or want to) maintain your separate spaces. See above. Read the room. Ask if you have questions.
Need vs. desire — WoSubs don’t need a partner, but if the conditions are right, they probably want one (or you wouldn’t have made it to Stage 3 together). Sexual desire, intimacy, trust — these are luxuries in a world where most people fend first for themselves. If you have the craving, make it known. She will do that too. If the desire is mutual, you stand to win big.
Buckle up— At this point, either party could bolt. You’ve done everything you can to lay a solid foundation. Your WoSub has the will or she wouldn’t still be around. Together you’ll find the way. Or you won’t. Either way, it will have been worth the ride.
What have I missed? Feedback welcome from WoSubs and the people who date us.

doberso
Posts: 63
Joined: Sat May 18, 2019 8:54 pm

Re: How to Date a Woman of Substance

Post by doberso » Fri Jul 10, 2020 11:20 pm

I don’t want to be alone, I’m almost 60 years old, but I’m full of energy, but it’s strange to be alone, you know. I lived with my loved one, and suddenly my soul mate was taken by an incurable disease. So I have to start all over again. Both of my grandfathers lost their wives and started a family for a second time https://bestapp.asia/. Apparently, this is my fate too...

Anna2N
Posts: 48
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2018 1:24 pm

Re: How to Date a Woman of Substance

Post by Anna2N » Thu Feb 18, 2021 12:51 pm

hojoos wrote:
Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:04 pm
You’re 50 or 60 and you’ve met a woman your age. Eek.
She knows five things about you: You’ve got a job, degree(s) from somewhere she’s heard of, and you’re “available.” She likes your photo and/or first physical impression. And your voice doesn’t grate on her nerves.
You know this about her: She’s a thinker and a writer [substitute other profession here]. She puts a roof over her own head. Her kid(s) are basically launched.
In other words, she’s a Woman of Substance — a WoSub — and she’s available too.
You’re wondering: “How do I pull this off?”
Here are nine things to know, broken down by relationship stage, the lengths of which vary based on amount of miles on the road and passion history.
After this…Dude, you’re on your own. I can only help so much.
Stage 1 — From meeting to sleeping together regularly
Pick up the first tab — Don’t worry about setting precedent. When you’re dating a WoSub there will be plenty of time in the future for discussion, negotiation, and going Dutch. If she sees you as capable, she’ll be more than happy to pitch in, or take turns, or make you dinner from time to time.
Observe closely — Cues you pick up on your first dates (about her level of independence, her attention to detail, ideas and values that concern her) will come in super handy in future stages. Oh, and along those lines, know you’re also being watched. In a good way. She also wants to learn and respond accordingly.
Don’t over function or over promise — When a WoSub is getting to know a man, she’s looking for consistency. The world is full of men who can’t sustain the charm. Don’t be one of them. She’s been there, and seen that. Too. Many. Times.
Stage 2 — From meeting a few of her friends to exclusivity
Use your words — By now, she wants to know how you related to your mother. Why your marriage(s) ended. What matters most to you at the end of the day. If you care to keep things going, it’s time to open up. Don’t make her drag it out of you.
Offer to assist — Sure, she’s self sufficient, but who doesn’t appreciate an extra pair of hands? And if she breaks down and asks for a ride to the airport, or for your help with a heavy lift, for %^&* sake, don’t say, “I bet your son would really like to do that for you.” Just do it. With a smile. P.S. — Her kid(s) will always come first but that doesn’t count in this context.
Read the room (and read her work)— Do you feel trust developing? Have you found your rhythm as a couple, or is it still parallel play? If you’ve got questions, don’t be afraid to ask. Here’s a not-so-secret secret: Most WoSubs can’t hold back on sharing what you need to know. She wants you to succeed. Really. She does.
PS — If you subscribe to her blog, make sure it’s on your Whitelist.
Stage 3 — Finding balance and building trust
Separate but equal — If you make it to Stage 3, you’re probably in uncharted water. For both of you, sustaining a relationship will be a choice, not a mandate. While you get to know each other more fully, you’ll still need to (or want to) maintain your separate spaces. See above. Read the room. Ask if you have questions.
Need vs. desire — WoSubs don’t need a partner, but if the conditions are right, they probably want one (or you wouldn’t have made it to Stage 3 together). Sexual desire, intimacy, trust — these are luxuries in a world where most people fend first for themselves. If you have the craving, make it known. She will do that too. If the desire is mutual, you stand to win big.
Buckle up— At this point, either party could bolt. You’ve done everything you can to lay a solid foundation. Your WoSub has the will or she wouldn’t still be around. Together you’ll find the way. Or you won’t. Either way, it will have been worth the ride.
What have I missed? Feedback welcome from WoSubs and the people who date us.
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nickdark
Posts: 45
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2020 12:54 pm

Re: How to Date a Woman of Substance

Post by nickdark » Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:56 am

I also met my boyfriend on the dating sack. I like this site https://www.passionmature.com because here you can meet a very nice guy or girl and start a family. Do you believe that you can find a serious relationship on a dating site or do you prefer offline meetings? I was also afraid to meet on the Internet before.

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